socks

I mean, he was alright. I suppose he could shed a pound or fifteen... maybe invest in some invisalign to fix that snaggle tooth... But somehow he pulled off his little smooth charade well enough to allow me to invite him up.


Que the dimming lights.


I'm exaggerating. He wasn't that bad looking. He had nice eyes. Green, I think. Maybe hazel... Good head of hair. Nice goatee thing happening - long enough to show he can grow it, not too long that I'd get a facial rash. He had a killer voice, too. I'm a sucker for voices.


When he called me to check what time we were meeting and if I needed a lift to El Cantinori's I instantly felt attracted to him. Deep, husky voice. Like a manly purr.


So here we were. At my apartment. On the couch. Giggles and all and things quickly heat up. From the couch, to the hall (note some knocked down picture frames) to the bedroom... he suddenly seemed irresistible.


My neighbour, Mrs. Chan, was away visiting a relative for the weekend (I know this because I have to water her ferns - note to self, must do that ASAP) and I knew me and my gentleman could go all out.


Sheets flying. Lamps falling off nightstands... the whole shibang. It was hot, sweaty, invigorating... everything a six-month-dry-spelled girl could ask for.


Immediately afterwards we laid there, on top of the only remaining material on my bed - the mattress cover. Hot. Very hot. Not just the sex. The room. I was laying there completely naked and sweating. Head to toe. As was h---


No. No he didn't. No, no, no, no.... The man who I thought was completely naked, like myself, was laying there like a breathless pig still in socks.


No shirt, no pants, no boxers, no jewellery. Yet wearing his white and grey, Nike swoosh sports socks in my bed. There's something incredibly wrong about this. I don't think one woman can truly put her finger on the particular reason why this is such a turn off but I do guarantee every woman is repulsed by it. Something about being too childish and... freakish. Dude, we're about to do the dirty... get those stinky sweat soakers off your feet like a real man!


I can look past a snaggle tooth and even a little gut... but if you dare wear socks while bedding up with me, the only thing you'll get worth receiving is a boot to match.