I mean, in Pretty Woman, Julia Roberts and Richard Gere have tender yet sexy foreplay (and I always assumed sex) on the piano at the Radison. This scene always seemed so classy and hot to me. The real thing's not as such.
This guy named Jake had me over to his place after our fourth (maybe fifth?) date and his piano was the first thing that caught my eye... And not because I found it hot or interesting that he can play an instrument but the very first thought that entered my mind was sex.on.the.keys.
I used to have a piano in my dining room as a kid. It was wooden, out of tune and definitely had zero sex appeal.
Other pianos I've seen in my lifetime have always been in families' homes where I did not have free sexual access to them.
But here it was. A baby grand. Middle of his condo. Two glasses of wine close by. I attempted a sexy stroll over to the piano as he slowly lingered after me. I turned around and gently rested my ass on the keys. Unfortunately, I was at the left side of the piano and the keys made a shockingly deep and frighteningly dooming sound. The sound stopped abruptly as I quickly jumped off. Though the echo of the sound seemed to last forever.
Okay. I tried again. This time I was positioned myself much closer to the right side. The sound would probably be more delicate and feminine. It was. He started to kiss me all over my neck... shoulders... then I attempted to take off my panties. It was awkward. We were standing. And still trying to kiss.
Eventually they came off with great difficulty and there we were. Naked. Kissing in front of his piano. In the middle of his condo.
Here's the thing... Piano keys aren't that long. Ass cheeks everywhere. Unpleasant sounds. Awkward rhythms. The whole thing was wildly cumbersome and took far more work than we got back in enjoyment.
I got to thinking about how Hollywood movies let us down when it comes to sex. Pianos, elevators, hot tubs, airplanes, surprise sex...
Movies make sex scenes seems so effortless and hot and spontaneous and quite frankly, last night was a disappointment. A failure. A little off-key if you will.
